too much it seems

lately life has been kind of crazy. it feels like everything happening is so heavy. events and activities are not simply happening but leaving their residue on me. that is the best way i can think to explain it.

i feel drenched in the residue of the events of my life.

this weekend i sat at a wedding of two people i dearly love and it was just one of the best weddings i have ever been to. adam crawford administered and he made sure the focus stayed on the love of Jesus Christ and what a gift marriage is and that its purpose, while it does make us happy, is not to make us happy but to glorify God by being a picture of how Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her and how the church should submit to Christ. it was wonderful and a truly worshipful wedding.

the reception was a blast, a room filled with people i love. some i hadn't seen in years, some i love but live in korea and some i had seen earlier that day but was grateful just the same for time with them.

in the same weekend i attended a funeral of a young man who chose to end his life. i watched his family walk in the church and sit down and the expressions of confusion and glimpses of anger were all too evident on their faces.

i begged the Lord to help me trust Him, to help me cling to the promises He gives and believe them in my heart and know in my head that they are true and that He is good. and He did. i sat there singing praises to my Lord and the weight of His presence seemed to find its residing place on my chest and was heavy there. amazingly enough, it did not feel the slightest bit burdensome in its heaviness, it felt the opposite.

extremely freeing.

like i could walk up to the balcony, jump off and fly home.

all the way home.

i told Him he was the only one that could do that. take this horrible tragedy and make it good, give it purpose and provide comfort. i asked Him to do that for the family. when i finished telling Him that he was the only one that could do that he responded by telling me...

He is the only one that could do that.

and that makes Him good, trustworthy and Jesus.

doing things only He could do.

i don't know how to explain it any better than this. its just been a couple of those weeks back to back where it seems like life is happening an extra amount and right in front of my face.

the fact that it is real, painful and joyful at the same time and happening at this very moment. and mostly it is happening with a purpose and my aim is to make it matter for that purpose.

for the sake of GLORY to the ONE who is WORTHY.

i have a sister!!!

It was a beautiful wedding and such a wonderful time. It was so nice to see so many friends and family from all over in one place. Truly a sweet time.

friends

lately i have been thinking a lot about friends, my friends, friendships and all that goes with it. right now is a time in my life where i feel like i have the coolest friends. i feel like i have always been blessed with great people in my life and i am so thankful for that. it is a gift i don't deserve and now is no different. i am surrounded by some wonderful people who i constantly learn from, am challenged by and laugh at a lot.

first of all there are all my friends at seminary, these people are so much fun and we have a blast together. i love that we can be quoting the last office episode we watched together or discussing our ultimate frisbee strategy and then seconds later be in solid theological conversation. basically, very cool people that i am thankful to get to spend time with.

in our ultimate frisbee tournament we lost in the second round but during the championship game we stole the winners t-shirts and took pictures like we won, but we didn't. our team name is "just kidding" so it seemed appropriate.

and then there are these girls, they are the coolest.

this family has me over for dinner just about every wednesday for the last year. they are a wonderful family and i have been so blessed by them and their friendship. Angela (the mom) feeds me, listens to me talk about my life and encourages me when i cry. she is a wonderful friend and i have learned so much from her. she puts so much thought into what she does as a mom and i am constantly learning from her.

all this friendship gush has come about because i just got home from seeing driving ms. daisy at the casa manana theater in ft. worth. i went with my friend tasha to this play that was so great. and allow me this disclaimer: i am not one of those super cool, artsy, deep people who always learns from every little thing. however tonight, God really taught me through this play. the friendship between daisy (played by the awesome sandy duncan who i love and was amazing in the play) and her driver, hoke, is one of circumstances. their friendship was an unlikely one and it grew out of a common respect for one another. as tasha and i discussed it afterward we noticed that there were never really any nice moments between them or great things that brought them together but that they expressed so much gratefulness for the things they did for one another.

i thought about how different my friendships are. some are full of great moments, conversations that change my thoughts about things, and a large amounts of expressed gratitude. others are more purposeful but without as much emotion. i don't know if any of this is making sense but i love that God knows what i need more than i do and He gives me this wonderful gift of friends. i had such a good time with tasha, she is so compassionate toward the lost and it makes me love them more too.

enough friendship gush, basically i am grateful for the people in my life and aware that they are a gift i am not deserving of.

also if you are one of my friends not mentioned in this post, know that it is not because i am not grateful for your friendship, just too sleepy to mention everyone.